Has it been that long already?

It seems like yesterday, getting in the limo, having to pick out a corsage for the walk down partner(which I forgot till that day, I remebered while I was CD shopping...Yes even then it was starting to become a sickness..) renting the tux. Aha yes graduation that time in your life that seems like the pinnacle of your life up to that point....It was also a time when you knew you would NEVER see some of these people again and it made you smile. Now don't get me wrong I didn't have the worst high school life, there were much,much less fortunate than I. I did manage to get through that 4 years that are "supposed to be the best years of your life" relatively unscathed. And you get through it and carry on with your life. I actually think I have had more fun since that fateful day in June, than I did in high school....Then it happens.
What is "it" you ask well, "it" is that phone call out of the blue from a name you don't recognize(though I did recognize this one...) on the call display. You pick up the phone or in my case listen to the message and "it" hits you...The ten year reunion is upon you. Many things I found go through your head when you hear that,"oh my god has it been that long?""When is it?(next week!!)...Then the ultimate question...Do you go?
That really is the biggest question, do you go. Now a strange thing occurs after you end school. When others are free of the high school bullshit, and you know what IM talking about, the people that didn't really talk to you will suddenly start to talk to you for like half hour in the grocery store when you see them that summer and when you continue to run into them you have the usual chit chat, but then after time you run into them less and less as people move away and such. This didn't take long in the case of my grad class as most seemed to move to the big cities to "get on with life"by the end of that summer. I think by the end of that first summer I only saw my friends that I hung out with and even they eventually moved got married and left. So now it has been ten years and names are starting to show up on my call dislpay and in my inbox that I haven't thought of in like ten years...Some of which fall under the category of those that I never thought I would talk to again. Some I didn't enjoy talking to then( and thats when it was free)or even liked, now they want $35 bucks a head(plus drinks...lots and lots of drinks) to spend time with the evening with them, that just seems wrong.

So for the last day and a half I have been struggling with the idea of going to this gathering, wondering how much I would really enjoy it. So I said to myself that I would go if my best friend from High School went(who I still see not often enough), talk to him tonight and he's up for the idea he's actually excited I think. Then I think maybe I'll take the girl friend and make a night of it(at least that would be somebody to talk to) but I'm not sure I could subject Jen to that, hell I'm still not sure if I'm ready to subject myself to that. Then I decide I'll go if my old group goes, it would be fun to see them....I think I saw there names on the email going around...I'm beginning to think I Fucked.....

Why is this such a big deal to people. I used to wonder why people got so worked up about this kind of thing...now I know. It's like high school all over again. You are worried about being judged. Judged on your job, martial status. and life in general, and I think being judged on your life is a tad more nerve wracking than being judged on if you are wearing the latest pair of Air Jordan's. And this is where I'm confused about this whole thing. I have never been one to really worry about being judged or what people really thought about me. Since high school I have become a more confident, out spoken and am not the same person I was in high school. I have a good job running a profitable restaurant, I organize and run a successful charity golf tournament in my town, I still have all my hair and I'm not fat(so my girlfriend says) and a group of friends I wouldn't trade, so why is this so tormenting. I think its because it makes you look at your life and what you have may or may not have accomplished. Like for instance one of the girls I went to high school with works in the office of the Deputy Premier and Minister Of Education, it just sounds like she has accopmlished alot...I don't know, knowing me I'll probably end up going might even have a good time...the girlfriend said she would go(an amazingly sweet offer cause I KNOW she doesn't want to..but then again she is sweet like that)...like I said at least that would be someone to talk to between drinks at the bar cause...... I know I would end up getting drunk.........Oh well we'll see what happens.....I wonder what kind of music there will be.....