Spies?....We have spies?....

So I read in the paper that the Canadian version of the F.B.I, C.S.I.S., wants to increase their number of , I'm guessing domestic and international, spies by 70% and are actively recruiting. This sounds like a cool job I'm thinking, sign me up I say to myself.

It can't be that dangerous to be a Canadian spy right? But if someone told me that they needed spies I might look into it, see if I was qualified. James Bond seems to have a good life.But it does make you wonder, just what qualifications do you need to be a spy? If the movies would have you believe anything, all of the following would be needed to be a spy:

1. Must have a tux
2. Kung-fu is a must
3. Must be able to drive latest military Equipment from attack Helicopters to tanks
4. Must be good with gadgets
5. Must be able to have casual sex with women around the world...All in the name of the protection of the Country of course
6. Have no problems killing people...

Upon further reading of the article they listed key things that they look for. So listen up..Have you ever wanted to live the life of a daring spy? A life on the edge of Danger and adventure? Well listen up here what you need to do to be a spy for our great country:

1: A university Degree is a must...In any discipline.
2. Must Speak French. Both official languages. Makes sense

and the number three thing that is an absolute must. A deal breaker in the eyes of the government in you being a spy or not. MUST HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE.
This made me laugh.

I can see the inteview process now...
Interviewer: "So I see you have a degree in Political science, speak fluent French, Arabic,Sandscrit and spent time with the guerilla warriors of Bogota.?"

Interviewee:" Yes sir."

Interviewer" "And you had an out standing Naval Career, and are a black belt in Karate and are a full flexed Ninja. And you can make a mean cup of coffee?"


Interviewee" Yes sir"

interviewer" Well Son..You make the perfect candidate but you can't drive so Fuck ya"

Makes sense I guess just seems stupid.But then again what good is a spy that can't drive. I just dont think the bus pass would cut it when tring to follow an international criminal. Oh well...

Playlist of the day: Phishy Goodness
Casue people just don't have enough Phish in their life(Excpet the Home office..they exceed there Phish Quota)

1. The Mango Song
2. Stash
3. Taste
4. Waste
5. Bouncin Around the Room
6. 46 days
7. Guyute
8. Reba
9. Fee
10.Mound
11.Weekapuag Groove
12.Meat
13.Tweezer
14.Wilson
15.Rift

This is really the tip of the ice berg. If you have never listened to Phish and want to check them out I can not recommend them enough.

But then you could watch them too.Your Youtube clip of the day

This is what you get on a lazy Sunday....

Everyone knows Superman. He is on of those iconic characters of our childhoods. We all know that he stands for "Truth, Justice, and The American Way". We can all, especially after the marketing campaigns for the movie this summer, pick out the "S" emblem and know what the costume looks like. Even if you don't read comic books this is common knowledge.


Now that we have gotten past that, this next sentence is either going to make you click away or hold your attention till the end, but the choice will have to be made. Ok are you ready? What if Superman was real? I do mean this seriously.


Look at it this way, in Superman's world he universally loved(except by maybe Lex Luthor)and revered. Governments and other planets look to him for help. No questions asked. Do you really think this would fly in the real world? Fuck no. Here you have a guy that can fly, move mountains and shoot heat rays out of his damn eyes, and the people in charge are just going to let this go? Yeah Right.

Governments and scientist would be combing the earth for this guy. Scientist would be wanting to study his "alien make-up" and would have him locked up in some kryptonite laced lab for ever if they could. In effect stopping him from fighting crimes, stopping the in justices of the world and saving kittens from trees.

They would then take the information that they had gathered through years of tests and intense research and sell it to companies who will in turn, then turn it into a military application allowing them to create a whole army of these super-soldiers( that I am sure would still not be able to find Osama Bin Laden)to terrorize, I mean police the world.

Kryptonite would be the most valuable substance in the world that countries around the world would be lining up to buy, because how else are you going to fight a threat like that? And that's only if the Americans found him first.
He would be the world's most wanted guy.

Superman would in effect become the worlds most powerful W.M.D. A mere pawn to be used by the government at will to scare other countries to their way of thinking. Letting the US take over the world remaking it in it's own image thus making us watch endless hours of Nascar day after day.

Other nations of course would not stand for this and would try and stand up to the threat, Superman would in fact be the cause of World War whatever were on by then

...Man that would be scary... Good thing he's not real eh?


Youtube clip of the day.....

Uppity bitch slap of the day...

It's been awhile since I shared an "Uppity bitch slap' candidate. But today I have one and it's a repeat offender damn it. I included this person on the intitial list but she definitely deserves another. Today's 'slap' goes to none other than Nancy"I am an Uppity bitch"Grace, TV host for CNN.

If you have ever seen this lady in action she is the most egotistical person asking questions on T.V today...Except for maybe Bill O'Reilly. She lives in her own little world where she always seems to be right and basically attacks her victims..I mean guests on her show like a sting ray attacks aussie wild life personalities. She always goes for the throat even if she's wrong. I have been waiting for some one to put this bitch inhere place for awhile. Well it seemed to happen this week.

She had a lady by the name of Melinda Duckett, 21, on her show and was questioning her about the disappearance of her son. Grace as usual attacked the lady called her a liar and ripped apart her story of her son disappearing. Grace from my understanding basically came out and accused her of having something to do with her son's disappearance. It was by all accounts the classic Grace performance. The day after the taping Melinda Duckit shot herself. Grace drove some one to killing themselves and her reaction...An apparently unapologetic Grace said" Her guilt drove her to do it". This lady is a piece of fucking work. No apology,nothing. Someone needs to give this lady the Uppity slap damn it.....god I hate her.....

Summer may be over...But that only means one thing.....

As you look outside, drive around your towns/cities of residence one thing is becoming abundantly clear. Summer is on it's last legs.The nights are getting shorter, mornings a little colder, leaves are turning shades of orange and red. Yup it's over folks. Pack up the deck furniture and put away the above ground pool. Winter will be here soon enough.

What's that?..Your upset that summers over? Ok hold on just stop and listen...Do you here that?...Do you here those familiar sounds?...Skates being brought out, Zamboni's being fired up.You here it now don't you?..That's right folks summer may be over but the second favorite season in Canada is only a week or so away from starting to roll full bore...NHL training camps officially open on Sept.19th, and I am glad it's back damn it.

Sure Summer is fun and great but I miss hockey. It's time for "Hockey Night In Canada" to come back into the households across the country. I have said it before and I will say it again. Nothing brings Canada closer together than Hockey Season. It's time to renew the rivalry talk around the dinner table, it's time for Don Cherry..It's time for my beloved Habs to beat up on Toronto again....(The Home Office will have something to say about that..lol).

I can't wait, changes that a lot of teams made in the off-season will be interesting to see they un-fold. I will make a few prediction though. With the changes the Habs made they will be a force in the East and finish 4 or 5 in the division. Samsonov, Huet, Kovalev, Koivu, Ryder...being coached by Canadiens legends Guy Carbonneau and Kirk Muller..The team looks good...Toronto won't make the playoffs(sorry)..Vancouver will finish 8th in the west(barely)making the Playoffs(out in the first round), Jose Theodore will let in a ton of goals for Colorado and Carolina will not repeat...October 6th can not get here soon enough.....

Here's the YouTube clip of the Day....

Five years..Plus a day....

I was going to not post about September 11th. I have done so in the past and feel that any regular readers of this crazy place will know my thoughts on the topic. But for some reason I cant let it go past without saying something..


Like anyone out there I remember were I was that day. It kinda does seem like forever ago but it was only five years ago that I was awoken by a phone call that said "Check out CNN, it's fricken WW III". I turned on the T.V. just as the second plane hit. I clearly remember being glued to the tv for the next 6 hours before work that day. I truly do feel for the families and people that had to live through that ordeal. I however, like Dlae has said, think that being Canadian, we don't maybe truly appreciate the impact on the culture of the U.S that this event had.We have a different point of view. Which makes sense, I can watch the video from that day for hours, I find the whole thing interesting and thought provoking. As Canadians it affected us differently. Our society hasn't been affected by it like that of our southern neighbours. It seems to me they won't show the video of the planes actually hitting any more on news-shows unless it's the anniversary. It still seems like a country in denial and grieving at times. It doesn't help that their moron of a leader is still has that country in a war that they use that event as a basis for. After the "War on Terror" is over(like that will happen) they should add the casualties from that day to the death toll from the war cause really it's all the same thing. One event is linked to the other.

The American people should be outraged that their "leader", Georgie Porgie Bush still has them in this thing. The current administration knows more about this than they are letting on and won't back down because what they don't want the world to know is the lives of 3000+ people are not at the root of this "war" it's based on money, oil, and a son trying to get revenge for his Daddy. It's an excuse. It's a shame that so many people had to die for a personal vendetta.

Maybe one day all the truths will come out. I believe there is much that will still be discovered, from the "non-plane" that hit the Pentagon, to what really happened to Flight 93.

I could go on but really this will just turn into some rant and that's not what it's about. To anyone that comes across this that may have been affected by the events of September 11th, 2001 it was a terrible tragedy and please don't take my comments as "I don't care". ... For now I'm out...


EDIT: I wish i had this earlier...Thanks to the Hetero-life mate for sending it. Now here's a guy I can agree with...Your Youtube video of the day.

He's crazy, but at least he's more consistent than Lucas...

It was a long Saturday at work, after a long night at the poker tables on Friday. I played Ok, but actually folded pocket Kings at one point because I thought the other guy had Aces, rookie fucking move,turns out he had pocket Queens but Oh well. That's the way it goes sometimes. However I am going off on a tangent(which usually happens when somebody brings up poker)nobody came here to hear my poker tales. The whole point was that after a long day today, and long week or so in general I needed a night at home, and what better way to spend a night at home, but with the DVD player.

So on the way home I stopped at the store and got food that will probably kill me in the long run, but damn it a movie night calls for junk food. I kinda felt like Cliff Huxtable when Claire was out of town and he got to have hoagies(that's right I referenced the Cosby Show..What you gonna say about it). The only question was what to watch, I was in the mood for a trilogy or something, but when I couldn't decided on Star Wars, Indiana Jones or gay ass midgets on a walk(sorry there not gay..They're just hobbits..), I went with the next logical choice.... Pulp Fiction.


Now Pulp Fiction is, in my humble biased opinion, a cinematic marvel. Quentin Tarantino can write and direct a movie, and this movie is a force from the beginning to the end(except I can really do without the Bruce Willis storyline"The Gold Watch"). Everything that made Reservoir Dogs so good was here bigger and better. And is arguably the best of Tarantino's movies(Kill Bill 1&2 are up there). After I got my fill of Jules, Vincent. It was still early so I decided I had to have a Star Wars...So I watched the Pulp Fiction of the Star Wars universe...Empire Strikes Back.

And you know these movies do have some shared imagery. Sure one is about drugged out hitmen who seem to talk about food alot("Royal with Cheese"" I don't eat pork cause a pig is a filthy animal", coffee.)and the other is about a whinny farm boy and his cool friends rebelling against the man ,but if you look hard enough it's there.

Both movies are a dark contrast to the one before it, both were the pinnacle of writing in each director's career(although Tarantino has made a comeback in recent years, again Kill Bill) and both had an underdog white guy fighting to do what was best for them while trying not to let the "Man" keep them down. And just by Chance the "Man" in charge for both movies is a big Black dude!(Marsellus Wallis and Darth Vader- brothers from another mother I say). Now you could go on the racial side of things but that's already been covered well enough by Kevin Smith in "Chasing Amy". Empire also has Lando but as the Hetero-life mate will know..that's a whole other topic for another time.

Overall after the last little bit it was nice to spend a night at home. It just needs to be done every once in awhile.That's really all I got for now..but I think one more movie for the night is in the cards. Have an early tee-time in the morning, but I think Almost Famous is calling my name...for the second time in a week.

No playlist today..but here is your Youtube clip of the day..enjoy.(NSFW)

It was the cliche, life changing experience

September 1, 1991. The date doesn't ring many bells does it. And I am sure that unless your great Aunt Petunia had a 90th B-day or it's some kind of anniversary in your everyday life(like a wedding anniversary or even your B-day)the day would slip past without much thought past something like "Thank God the kids are almost back in school" or "Damn the summer just slipped by".

But to this music geek(or snob)September 1st 1991 had a significance that would change my outlook on things. You see if was 15 years ago today that a watershed moment happened in the world of music. 15 years ago Nirvana's "Nevermind and Pearl Jam's "Ten" were released onto the public. And really..Changed the face of rock music, and the way people looked at rock music. It was the start of a musical revolution that Poison, Guns'n'Roses and Motley Crue never wanted to see come and people my age (14 at the time) didn't realize they were waiting for.


When released the albums didn't hit big right away, like any good revolution it took awhile to get going. It needed MTV to show the videos in heavy rotation to get things really going, but once "Smells like Teen Spirit" hit, it was all over for the hair bands that,at the time ruled the music charts. I was a big Guns'n'Roses fan at the time, and I remember the first time I saw the video for Teen Spirit I didn't watch it because it was new and "didn't sound like something I would listen to" but then I watched it and got sucked in to the world of Kurt Cobain. It was a world very much different from the one I knew but I liked it. Nevermind became my favorite album and to this day still holds a high ranking of my all time favorite albums.

But there was competition. And without getting into the whole "Seattle sound/grunge" thing people started looking for the next big thing from Seattle. Pearl Jam was the obvious choice.The First single from "Ten' was "Jeremy", again the video hit big and you were hearing about this kid who was picked on enough at school that finally he brought a gun to school and well... you know the rest. Other bands didn't talk about this stuff.It was amazing. You were now either a Pearl Jam guy or Nirvana guy. I played both sides. I couldn't resist the music. To this day Pearl Jam is still one of my favorite bands, still as infectious and as interesting as when I first heard "Jeremy"

Now of course this lead to the whole grunge movement and record companies tried to sign any band from Seattle cause it was the thing to do, it was the new Nashville or New York. But it went away, but the music didn't. You listent o any Nirvana or Pearl Jam album, and it still holds up. When people look at music history there are those albums that people will talk about as "masterpieces" or "important" like "Abbey Road", "Exile on Main St.""Revolver" well these two albums will be in that discussion.

today's playlist in honor if the these two bands: I would just list everysong on every album..go out and justy listen to anything you come across from either band....

and the Youtube clip of the day: A Pearl Jam clip

A Nirvana Clip