Saturday, December 24, 2005

An open letter to Tucker Carlson


For those out there that may not have heard about this story. Tucker Carlson, an out-spoken conservative T.V. host in the states, this week Likened Canada to "retarded cousin" to the United States... but instead of me giving you the details, check out the article here...no go ahead I'll wait....

Ok ,so your back, so what follows is just an open letter from me to this fucknut.


Dear Mr. Carlson

First off just let me get this out of the way, you sir are an idiot. Where do you get off saying anyone is the retarded cousin of anybody? I am beginning to think that a right-leaning person like yourself is just afraid of a forward thinking nation like ours, and why is this?

But I feel like I am already getting off on a tangent. For now lets stick with some facts.

1. You don't think that Canada should demand the 5 billion of illegal dollars that the your country had Canada pay in duties on soft wood lumber. Follow me on this Tucker, keep up I know you didn't graduate university with a degree, but I think you might even understand that it was ILLEGAL. A WTO judge has found this to be true on a number of occasions. So all the US would have to do is make one less stealth bomber or some shit this month and it's done.

2. The U.S. is mad that our Prime Minister Paul Martin, had the balls to stand up and tell you that you as a country have no climate conscience on global warming, this has led you to believe that Canada is getting to big for their britches. Sorry we aren't Tony Blair and don't kiss your countries ass all the time like everyone else. Your just mad that someone stood up to your country and you can't take the critisim. Delusions of grandeur I would say.

3. Canada is a country that you don't take seriously? Is this because we don't have a military that makes up for a short coming everywhere else? Because we just have better things to spend outr money on, like education and medicare(though I know it's not perfect but still better than the system in the States.

4. It's pointless to tell Canada to stop criticizing the States. Of course it is you fucking idiot. Your country deserves a good thrashing every once in awhile,and more people should do it on a regular basis. Grow up and take the heat, Or are you just upset becasue it's true. The Us is like that popular jock in high school who would shove others in lockers but the minute sombody stood up to him, he went and cried like a baby...

5.Oh yes and the fact that you feel that anyone with any ambition and intelligence has left this country? Maybe in the world of entertainment, but in case you haven't noticed other countries try to hire our professionals like doctors and nurses away because they are better trained that those in the States in some cases. Personally I think Canada is full of more intelligent and open minded people, we as a country look after our people and continue to make sure that this is a free country to live in, making sure people have the right to do as they please, like allowing gay marriage. If you ask me that is a sign of intelligence becasue we recognise that in this day and age people's RIGHTS need to change to reflect the social changes that have come along. Unlike your country, and that's what scares you and makes you resort to such statement...Bow- tie wearing bitch....

Mr. Carlson I think you should just go away before your words get you fucking smacked. We don't want you to come here anyway, but if you wanna test our border restrictions just try and get in. Trust me your picture is everywhere at the border, so you stay away.

But I have spent enough time on you, and besides your good friend Jon Stewart, you know the host of the Daily Show who verbally bitch slapped you on nation television awhile ago ,is on so I can go watch him. Which from the sounds of it is what not a alot of people to your show, but that just goes to show that there are some smart people in the States...Probably Transplanted Canadians... Yours truly
jobe

Monday, December 19, 2005

Are you fucking kidding me!!!


So TIME magazine what the hell. A fairly respectable publication like yourself chooses some people of the year and you fall into the Bono trap and pick this fuckin guy?? What the fuck, (now Bill Gates can't argue with that, the guy gives up the money freely..) but does any one see that this is just playing into the "Game of Bono", there has to be somebody more deserving than this pretentious bastard.

Honestly, Yes I hate the guy, don't like his music, don't like his politics and think he should just go away (I would say die but I'm afraid some U2 fan, or Bono-head as I like to call them would track me down and make me feel guilty about not giving more to debt relief of third world countries..)but it seems to be the cool thing to like Bono, people latch onto him like he's the second coming. But I guess I should have expected this from TIME, I mean come on, last year it was George.W. Bush, I betcha they wish they could take that back.

But like I said before there was nobody else? I have no problem with musicians that are all political and stuff, but this Big-sunglassed fool just crams it down your throat like a fat kid trying to get that last dozen twinkies in before the end of lunch.

Please Bono, and I can't believe I am about to say this, but can't you just concentrate on the music, no I am not going to buy it, but at least then i won't have to see you everywhere I go. God I hate you Bono...So very, very much...

Saturday, December 10, 2005

So here it is, we are almost at the end....



So...Its only a few days now till the end of the year...And like alot of people around this time of year I have begun looking back on the year that was, however I tend to look back on it in terms of Cds and DVDs and movies, what can I say,in case you haven't noticed I really should be a twelve step program for this kind of shit.

But one thing became clear as I looked back on the year...There wasn't much to get excited about in terms of new music and only a handful of really good movies and... Some pretty bad ones. So I have decided to compose a list of things I liked and disliked no real order but here we go a quick year in review...

1.The albums that came out of nowhere to bite me in the ass are....
Both of The KIngs of Leon albums(youth and young manhood & Aha shake heartbreak. I was late to the Kings of Leon party but these guys are a breath of fresh air. For those that have not heard them, the best way I can describe them is Southern rock sensibilities, mixed with the raw power of The White Stripes with the indecipherable lyrics of a drunk Bob Dylan...Amazing go get them now...Or don't..The less people that like them the easier it is to get tickets...

2. The movie with the biggest hype machine that disappointed me the most is...
Fucking War of the Worlds...got this movie sucked ass...2 hours of watching Tom Cruise act like a bitch running from aliens that are eventually defeated by the common cold..And the only real out come is Tom Cruise becomes a better father because aliens invaded the Earth....Stupid...Me personally I enjoyed the original better check that out here

3. Some of the best CDs of the year are:
Beck--Guero
System of a Down- Mesmerize
White Stripes- Get behind me Satan
Both Kings of Leon albums(see above)

4. The movie that I didn't think I would enjoy but ended up laughing my ass off at:
The Dukes of Hazzard...I went into this movie with low expectations, I grew up with the original and it holds a special place in that same place as Sat morning cartoons, and the A-team. But I liked it..even enjoyed it..it was campy, and different from the T.V. show but I'm glad it was...I would suggest renting it when you want mindless entertainment one night...

5.Some bright points at the movies this year were...
Batman Begins...Finally they get it right..from comic geeks everywhere thank you Christopher Nolan!!

Sin City...a feat in film making!!..This movie was one of the most literal translations of a source material I have ever seen. This movie was amazing, had a great story or stories I guess, It LOOKED AMAZING! Frank Miller should be proud of this. This movie has jumped into my all time favorites.....

Constantine-- An over looked movie...I enjoyed this and not because it was based on a comic movie but because of the ideas and such that it tried to get across. An under appreciated movie that I wish more people saw...

Lords of war-- ok it's a Nick Cage movie but it was a little thought provoking and enjoyable, something a little different....and it kind of made fun of the States so that good...

Revenge of the Sith-- I don't need to explain this do I...I was disappointed by the other prequels but I feel
George made up for it here

And of course the movie everyone is talking about..Walk The Line...I have read "Cash-the autobiography" by Johnny Cash and knew the story going in but I really enjoyed this movie. I also appreciate that Joaquin Pheonix and Reese Witherspoon played the interment and sang for the movie.

The person I was most sorry see past this year...
The late, great Hunter S. Thompson..Hunter left us in Febuary and for those of us that have read is books(Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas, ScrewJack, Hell's Angels, Better than sex:Tales of a political Junkie)it is sad to see him go. He was a person that did what he wanted and was one of the last true outlaws in this world of conformaty and corprate drones..he will be missed...

Those were some highlights in an otherwise "so-so" tear in the world of pop culture. So now we can look forward to next year and what do we have to look forward to?? .. Well I'm glad you asked...Right of the bat there are two movies that come to mind that I am looking forward too...Check them out here and here These are two movies I hope live up to the Trailers and expecataions..

That's it..that's all I've got...Now go out and read something or see a good movie visit the cd store buy something I have mentioned or at least try something new..take a chance...I'm out...

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Do I really wanna know this....


Ok...Before you jump to conclusions as to why I have a picture of Ricki Martin on my blog, no I haven't switched teams, no I am still a music snob ,who has never, will never listen to a damn Ricki Martin song or cd. But let me explain...

Have you ever read or seen something, or talked to somebody and they just gave you too much information. Like they told you something that you know they will come to regret later? Famous people, fortunately for us, do this all the time, to the delight of us, who get to laugh at their expense and if it's really good, it will become a joke in a monologue or an SNL skit or of course a reference on Family Guy.

Well I was reading through one of the new music magazines I buy every month, Blender, and at the end of the magazine they have a small feature called "Who Does{artist's name}think they are". Well this month it was Ricki Martin and in the article they ask him what how his taste in sex runs...And what is his answer? No..Not the answer we all think it should have been, which would have something to do with "Hot Man love" I'm sure. NO..He professed to liking to give the Golden Shower...Like shitting on the music world wasn't enough...He's now pissing on random "girls"(it hasn't been proven that it was girls, I for one am not convinced of this) to get off. Why would you say something like that..I didn't need to know that. Now I know it's not on the same level as John Lennon saying the Beatles were bigger then Jesus, but come on man. Does it deserve a blog entry?..Not really but Damn it..I refuse to be alone in having this information. So I share it with you. Deal with it.....

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

No matter how bad...


Ok just a quick post today...nothing long winded(Shut up Dale..) I just read this on the forums and had to kind of put it out there. This is for the geeks it's long but no matter how bad the new Brian Singer Superman movie is(I figure it will be ver good by the way) it will not be as bad as what it could have been. Read this if you want to see how bad it could have been........

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Back in the day....


Back in the day....It's a phrase that we often use in our everyday venacular..ok maybe I use it in my every day venacular but that is besides the point..I was reading Jen's blog today and she was talking about things from her childhood, those little memories that she holds dear of times and places gone by.


Her entry got me to thinking about things from my childhood, things that I miss from that simpler time when a hose and a dirty pile meant hours of fun and goofy highjinks...ok maybe there were no highjinks or goofy neighbor's but things definitely were fun. I thought about writing something like hers, a remeberence of sorts of a particular memory and the little details, but let's face it, she's the writer in this relationship, what I write is the equivalent of dick and fart jokes,to her elequoent passage but that's because while I was reading Spider-man comics she was reading Jane Austen novels...but I digress...

I have decided to go with a list, a list of things that I miss doing or seeing or something from my childhood,and I figure with the political themes around here lately it might be a welcome change, so here it is... A list of shit I miss about being a kid...

1. The wonderment of the Holiday season- Part of me wishes I could still get excited about Christmas the way you do as a kid, The nervous energy building to the day. The excitment of finding what ever was covered under the wrapping paper"A NEW SWEATER ALRIGHT!!!...ok maybe not the sweater exactly but you get the idea. And it's not that I don't get excited now but it's a different kind of excitement, far from that get-up-at-6am-and-see it Santa was there-get-MomandDad up kind of excitemnt. Now my parents are luckey if I'm ther by 930am....

2.The sense of never being bored. As a kid you could always find something to do. Had an empty box and it became a new toy. If it was big enough it was a fort or small enough and it became a base for your G.I Joe's...ah yes G.I. Joe's

3.Saturday morning cartoons..come on do I need to explain this. And as a side note Captain Crunch cereal or Fruit loops were the diet of choice. You needed the sugar to get through the next 6 hours of mindless cartoon fun.

4.Super Mario Brothers and the Nintendo entertainment System, was there anything better...the weekend afternoons spent around the NES (cause when your down that's what you call it..the NES...That's just the way we rolled...)playing the Mario Brothers or Blades of Steel, or RBI Baseball...oh what fun...

5.The Saturday trek for comics...That's right the comic trek. We would hop on the bus and before we actually had a comic book store we had to hit like 5 places in town to get all our books, it was an all day thing. After we got our first comic store things were made easier, and the experience was a little different but the delight in coming home with a bag full of the latest titles never went away, of course back then I could get 4 comics for 5 bucks..now 5 bucks gets you one...maybe.

6. I miss how you were easily entertained. How else does this explain the love of such t.v. shows as Knight Rider, The A-team, and Macgyver, Saved by The Bell and silver spoons....

7.I miss street hockey...we all love the street hockey...but come on as adults we just don't have the time anymore, unless we work at a corner store and can play on the roof.....

8.As a young child I had not yet been exposed to the evils of Bono.....

9. The fact that as a kid you had no responsibilities......

10.Its been said before, here in fact, but video arcades what a truly awesome, enjoyable waste of money...

I do think that even as we get older we do have to hold on to some aspect of being young. You have to allow your self to still do something you enjoy even if in the stuffy adult world it gets looked down upon as "immature" wanna read comic books?...go ahead, here I'll recommend some...Get excited over movies...Hey I like the way you think....Like to talk like Foghorn Leghorn(I say..I say hey boy..You were wondering if I was going to tie that picture in weren't you) just to get someone to laugh...do it..its worth it. I guess the next question is what do you miss..